this is from r.c. gorman~ isn't it beautiful!
i talk a lot about finding "myself" and living in tune with my core and that sort of thing. and while i do believe i have a core self, a true me that i can be aligned with, or in conflict with, and that does seem to affect my overall sense of peace and well-being and how well i can get along with others....
at the same time, i find it appealing to read about the idea of transcending the ego. that there is a "self" i may think is the real me. but that might be an illusion. a combination of a lifetime of experiences in which the world has told me who i am. and sometimes i have subsequently reinforced these messages. or lived my life putting energy towards trying to prove them wrong.
one of my favorite quotes is:
"argue for your limitations, and sure enough, they are yours." ~richard bach.
what that means to me, is that i could live my whole life believing that a certain trait is just part of who i am deep down, even to a self-defeating extent. "oh i can't do x, y or z, even if i wanted to, because i'm this sort of person." but who knows what is possible if we can let go of limiting self-perceptions. it's possible that there is no real me that can be pinned down and explained.
it's possible that thinking too much about my "self" even if it's in ways that seem positive or healthy, like "trying to take care of myself" or "trying to express myself," can sometimes instead make me feel even more disconnected and alienated from those around me. whereas, instead of trying to carve out my own little piece of life, and defend it, i could rise above and just be in the moment with those around me. not having to be any one thing or another. or needing them to be a certain way so that i can be happy, or feel more free. not having to prove anything. just relax and see what happens when this veil of self-scrutiny and self-defense are lifted.
"The third noble truth says that the cessation of suffering is letting go of holding on to ourselves." -Pema Chödrön
7 comments:
I cannot tell you how much I adore your blog and your thoughts, I am so glad I found you and I too love the Weepies ....great song choice.
It's true when I feel like I cannot express or do, vs. just saying and doing and being in the now I get lost...thank you for the dear reminder. xo
I'm curious, have you ever looked into mindfulness? It reminds me, in some ways, of what you're talking about when you mention being in the moment, and your place within that moment. It might not resonate with you, and it could be that what you were talking about reminded me of it, because that's one of the few techniques I'm aware of :)
Sending positive thoughts your way,
CG
Katie, thank you for sharing.
thank you gabriella moonlight, castorgirl and jbr :)
gm~ that is so sweet of you. thanks!! and yes, aren't the weepies wonderful? i think the lead singer is deb talan. have you heard her solo stuff too? it's wonderful also.
castor~ i love learning about "mindfulness" and i think that is what i'm talking about here. though i'm no expert :) sending positive thoughts back~~~
jbr~ thanks! hope you're well~
hey nicely written, always loo forward for what you write !!
I've been out of the loop for a while and am just seeing your post.
Your question about how much influence we have on ourselves is spot on, in my opinion.
Yes, we do limit ourselves. But most importantly, i think, is to understand where those limiting thoughts come from and why. In our culture, I feel that we so often try to train our thoughts to do a 360 and NOT be where our thoughts are taking us. I think that we should and actively engage in these thoughts.
This is something I am realizing, truly becoming aware of right now. I had pushed under the layers of my consciousness miles of pain and fear so that I wouldn't be limited and so that I could survive. After years of anxiety about the tension that comes from their existence and my refusal to accept or even recognize them, I now am working with someone who is telling me that "my thoughts and feelings are ok. I CAN feel these things and think these thoughts. I can listen to them and also react to them with love and acceptance. I need to nurture these needs and decide what's best for me NOW, with who and what I am - not what I want or wish or feel that I need to be, but who I am.
I'm just starting, but I am discovering that it releases me into a freedom to love and accept me, the present and others. I don't have to rise above, do anything but just be. And by being, we are becoming.
love and peace to you!
thank you both so much :) sorry for the very late response~~~ wishing you well!
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